I must admit there have been some playgrounds that I have actually had a good time on. There have been others, not so good. There is something about reminiscing on old times that makes me want to play. Yet, if I play out the scenario in my head all the way through, then I can intuitive see that those are places I do not want to revisit.
In the same way, old playmates. Again, I thought I was having fun. But, every time I would compare myself to others I was guaranteed to get in some type of trouble that led to regret. For instance, everything that looks good is not always good.
Now, you might be thinking “why not control what you do?” And I would say “my intentions were always good, but somewhere, and I cannot say when, but I crossed the line.” Unfortunately, when I crossed that line I could not get back on my own.
For example, I would say “I am going to limit myself to two drinks tonight.” And before the night was over I had more than I want to admit. Plus the next day I would go through my purse hoping that I had not spent all my money, when in fact, that folded bill turned out to be a five and not a twenty.
For this reason, I knew that I had to change, but I could not. I continued to do the same things over and over again, but was expecting different results that were always nil. It was not until I changed my playgrounds and playmates that I was able to see clearly that I was not thinking logically.
So, each day I pray and ask my higher power, who is God, to help me to stay sober just for today. At night, I thank God for keeping me sober. One day at a time I have been able to have new playgrounds and new playmates who too are making a conscientious effort to make constructive changes in their lives.
What are some of the modifications that have made a difference in your life?