Life really is too short to have an abundance of treasures. In the last several weeks I have pondered on what I must give away to be saved from those fascinations that are detrimental to my life. Too often the gifts of sobriety can provide a false sense of security.
Over the past week as I sat in numerous graduations, my included, I was astounded at how we have a need to share our successes, and that is great. But I also believe it is just as important to share our failures. We never know when our story can encourage someone who is determined to accept as true that they are not worthy enough to accomplish the unthinkable. I came to realize that my first giveaway would be letting go of the need to be right. Sometimes the need to be supportive outweighs the need to be correct.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a life time. This past week I learned that a friend had died from drugs and alcohol. I was devastated and have been struck by the infallible; that for the grace of God that could have been me. In other words, the more we sustain from using mood altering substances does not guarantee us from relapse. I came to accept that I have to giveaway arrogance and gain more humility. Drugs and alcohol do not discriminate.
My last biological parent died December 27, 2012. The time has come that the residence that provided a niche for many will be sold soon. As a result, this brings on great sadness for me. Yet I know that it is time; time to release the longing of what use to be.
These awakenings have bought on great anxiety and fear. So much that I have lost the ability to sit quietly in the loving presence of the one who brings me comfort; God who is love. The good news is I reached out to other alcohols that came to help me in many different ways. Some provided insight while others were a warming presence. I am grateful for my life. I am grateful for the lessons learned. I am grateful for another day.