This song (click on link in comment section) takes me back to the days of insanity. Today I can listen to this song with an intent ear and know that I am not where I use to be. I want to think that the people who can relate to this song are those who survived during this time. Many times I said a foxhole prayer. I would even bargain with this so call god. I would say “Okay God, if you are real, then you will get me out of this jam, and I will believe that you are real.” That happened so many times that I would bargain, over and over again, only to receive the same results. Null and void. I took my last drink and drug 10/3/2002. I give all the credit to a power greater than myself. I go back and forth with what I believe, but I know only grace is the reason I am here today. An abundance of grace and the willingness to have the willingness to do the next right thing and that was to put down the needle, the weed, the pills, and the drinks. All mood altering drugs had to go. I no longer serve a god that is punishing. I have a loving God who wants nothing but a good life for me. I had to change my concept of the god I was raised with. I no longer fear that god. I have a God that is kind, loving, forgiving, understanding, funny, a sense of humor, and a great deal of patience. No more guilt trips for me from anyone. I heart my sobriety!

Advertisements