The message I heard and trying to acknowledge is, breathe, wait, breathe, and wait for the invitation. Those were the words from my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) supervisor.
Here is a meaningful thought. When the mind overloads, it will automatically shut down, like a safety net.
In my perspective, the reading is speaking about protection for all. I understand the importance of protecting others’ anonymity and A.A. as a whole, yet my anonymity is a different story. It’s not that today I want to sing to the world about what the program can do and have done for me because that is harmful to the program if I crash, but it’s okay that I share my experience, strength, and hope when there’s an invitation.
I think about when I came into the program. What if that person that introduced me felt a need not to share what she knew? I think about Bill Wilson, and what if he had not shared what he knew, would there be an Alcoholics Anonymous? I think about countless others that continue to share what they know. I believe it is essential to know when my higher power is utilizing me as a conduit to share with others, holding nothing back but allowing others to see my real character, in a sense. That means the good, bad, and the ugly. I don’t get to filter and show only those things that perhaps put me in the limelight.
In a creative writing class, the assignment was to take five minutes and write about my favorite TV character, yet I have none. What I learned before the class adjourned was the importance of reading and having the ability to identify with a personality to relate and make a connection. That’s the same thing when I share my experience, strength, and hope is with the intention of people connecting in some way.
Just like Aretha Franklin claims, “Ain’t nothing like the real thing.” Like my supervisor stated, “Lynda, you are so quick to analyze and fix,” yet what I cannot fix is anyone else. But like the reading claims, A.A. is not anonymous, but the members should be—I hope to remember that I never know who needs to hear my story. That’s why I have to wait for the invitation.
Peace and love. Feel free to share and invite others. To unsubscribe, say so. The reading is attached.