Every so often, something happens where I go into this place of sadness. I perhaps will think about what was or what I wish would have been. What I know to be true is not to stay in my head with the woe me too long. When life seems overwhelming as it does now, I know to take the time to make a gratitude list of why I am thankful.

The emotion of feeling defeated is natural, and without help, it hijacks my mind. That is why I need to speak my truth out loud so others can hear me. That doesn’t mean that the emotion will automatically leave, but I am always grateful to have the audacity to share when I feel down because my thoughts might help another.

The most important thing for me to know is that every day will not be rosy. Life comes with challenges, some ups and some downs. It’s ironic how I was out walking when triggered with the thought of someone I loved dearly since childhood. The idea of her being dead from pancreatic cancer made me question why?

The healing from survival guilt is possible yet can be a slow process. I have to remember that I am worthy and have a human right to live my best life, and under no circumstances do I allow guilt to take me to a place of harming myself with drugs and alcohol, seen as a slow suicidal death.

I welcome the sadness and will allow the thoughts to bring about the sweet moments of life. I can always ask the great spirit of the universal to comfort me while in the pain of sorrow and ease my pounding heart—to direct me to be of maximum service to others—to act as if that past happiness lingers moments away in my thoughts.