It’s me; restless, irritable, and discontinued. I have no reason to complain about my life because I am stable, secure, and serene. Yet, it seems I am supposed to be doing anything besides what I do.

Last month my eldest sister had a trauma due to a car crash on the I-70 from a heart attack; she passed out, and per a witness, her car rolled 3-4 times. I was unprepared for what responsibilities I would inherit since she lived alone with no living offspring. My life has taken on a new role, and I didn’t realize some carryover trauma I hold from an estranged relationship far removed from this sister.

I am involved in multiple twelve-step programs; the one that brings the most comfort at this time is the ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics). So many buried memories are surfacing. I have developed an awareness of a new higher power, which has been challenging too. I am intentionally asking this power to help me let go and allow this power to work in my life.

One thing I am realizing is that I have no control over others. Although I am powerless over certain aspects of my life, I am not helpless. I also realize that I have become more political than I want, and in some sense, it is hard to move past that. I am powerless over the government, yet I want prodigious results on my time, and it’s not happening.

I ask myself, “Lynda, what can you do today to stay serene?” Mostly it’s moving out of the way, allowing myself to get still and listen to nothing. By doing so, I find solace in the stillness. The complication is that I don’t live alone, and someone is constantly asking, needing, demanding, and guilt-tripping if they don’t get attention from me.

With all the adversity, I want to run, but the miracle is I haven’t. I am dealing with my emotions. Working on the ”Loving Parent Guidebook.” I write and journal daily. My yoga mat has become my friend. I have taken up lifting hand weights which are helpful too. I am mindful of the amount of water I drink and the amount I lack. I am a daily avid long-distance walker. I give back by helping other sufferers by working with them on the Twelve Steps of recovery. After making my bed, I pray and meditate throughout the day. When I struggle to sleep, I repeat the Serenity Prayer until I can sleep.

I know that this discomfort will pass. Other than change, nothing in life is guaranteed, not even my sobriety. I have to be intentional with self-care. I recently paid an astrologer to read my sign, and although it was expensive, I needed a little pick-me-up, and I received precisely that.

Trudging the road to happy destiny doesn’t mean the terrain is smooth. Yet when I accomplish one hurdle, it leaves a mark that the next one I can achieve too. So, with my higher power’s help, an attitude of gratitude, and the tenacity to survive and strive, I will be OK. Everything will be OK because of grace, and what will be will be no matter what it will be.