When commonsense and logic meet, then willpower alone recognizes the need for help. For example, if the weather is below wind chill and I decide I can handle it yet don’t prepare with additional outerwear, I will soon realize my willpower alone caused some discomfort.   

Here is a pondering thought. Lessons are to teach knowledge that eventually becomes wisdom.

When I think about self-reliance limits, I compare how much I rely on things to help me survive, like wearing enough clothes against the blistering winds. I think about how I rely on a car to get me from a destination to another. I rely on food to nourish me, so I have the strength to operate my faculties. I rely on shoes to cover my tender feet from the ice and or scorching pavement.

Why, when confronted with an invitation to a higher-power, defiance wants to jump in the way?

In my perspective, the reading is giving guidance. Yet, it doesn’t consider if one doesn’t have a relationship already with a high-power, then there is no way the question asked can be answered. For example, how will I know there is a path back to a higher-power if I never had one? What I have to ask myself is, do I want a spiritual life? If I am struggling with staying sober, what might be the problem? Do I lack honesty about my disease? Do I recognize the urgency of my inability to accept help as an ego issue? Maybe I don’t identify as being an alcoholic that needs help?

My question to myself is, what will happen if I pick up a drink? It’s a personal question that no one other than myself needs to answer. Once I can get honest with myself, I hope to realize the dilemma of my powerlessness. For this addict, the bottom line comes down to a relationship with self, removing all other obstacles from the mix. Then possibly, I can come to grips with the reality of my inability to be honest because it will be a matter of time before outside help will intervene, such as family, the courts, jails, or death. After all, I am dealing with a progressive dis-ease.   

I happen to be from show me state, and I will find every excuse in the book to tell myself that I can handle whatever I need to address. I usually cannot see that my fears of what others think will prevent me from being honest with myself, so I have to pretend I’m in control of my life when it’s evident to others that I am not. I have a history. All I have to do is look at the rap sheet of how my life has progressed, and there’s no denying what I see. During these times, I can perhaps accept that my way hasn’t worked, and if it means I have to consider an outside loving source to help me, why in the world would I deny that?

I can see how insane my behavior is when I supposedly am in control of running my life. I don’t have to continue the torcher towards myself.  I have to stop blaming and know that no one or anything will control me. Being willing to turn my life over to something loving and caring other than myself is freeing and liberating because I no longer have to worry about the outcome. I am empowered to do the next thing and not pick up the drink or drug. All I have to know what will it hurt to invite a loving higher power into my life to guide and remind me of how powerless I am?

I can have a life worth participating in today. It’s not perfect, but what is? I can attempt to have those things that I have no idea are waiting for me. I have to be present and believe that it can happen because the limits of self-reliance on material things might be plentiful. Still, the self-reliance on those things untouchable is something more significant. I will wait to see and enjoy them as they come because I am willing to invite a loving power into my life—to keep out the chaos.

Peace and love. Feel free to share and invite others. To unsubscribe, say so. The reading is attached.

Author, Lynda M.