Living in the present feeling okay in my skin with no need to search outside of myself brings enjoyment to the moment.

Here is a pondering thought. There is no competition with self because surrender is to accept who and what self is.

The wreckage of my past, so daunting, it was fearful of facing my part. Yet, my path continues to connect with those that consistently remind me of who I am, what I was, and what I can continue to be. I have no other place to hide except under the throes of drugs and alcohol. That, too, reminds me of the hurdles of where I hid that awaits me but is too excruciating, so I don’t want to revert. 

The reading claims it’s the right action that I have to introduce myself to, and by doing so, I can move forward despite the fear. How in the world is that possible when as the reading claims in the Twelve and Twelve in Step Four, page 49, regarding a moral inventory, where “Pride says, ‘You need not pass this way, and fear says, you dare not look!’”

The action for me has been to trust and ask a power greater than myself for help with the willingness to do the next right thing. Despite the fear since I didn’t realize the pride, I came into the program. Page 23 of the Big Book claims the main problem with the alcoholic is my thinking. I want to believe that I can handle whatever I am going through, but I know myself well and need help, so I am in recovery.

Action for me is to ask for the willingness to have the willingness to do the next right thing. I cannot do this alone. I encounter every person like a Twelve Step program; they support me, whether haters or lovers. My primary source is to believe there is something greater than myself that can help me with the ability to hear and interact with others on a deeper level to help restore my sanity.

By seeing that all people have pain and react in ways possibly unacceptable to me, I get the final say of how I will allow others to affect my recovery. That thought is an excellent guide and reminds me, as long as I am willing to work the steps, apply the principles in all my affairs, life will change, and I can see the world from a different perspective—what a life worth living and so I choose to live. 

Peace and love. Feel free to share and invite others. To unsubscribe, say so. The reading is attached.   

Author, Lynda M.