What a fantastic reading, about the best of Bill, pp. 42-43. I had to read it multiple times. I can so relate to being Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It reminds me of being a chameleon whenever I had to feel safe, per se.

Here is a pondering thought? What will happen to find and live the true identity of self?

I recall wishing to be the person that people will praise for something, anything. Jealousy led and still sometimes leads the procession. I nevertheless have that emotion, but I understand more today than ever the reason why. I desired love and compassion from my parents for so long that I can sense the role belongs to others when it isn’t their place to comfort me. When fearful, I retreat with intense emotion, but it’s less since gaining recovery.

Here is an example, I am participating in a 21-day meditation with others. It started with many, but the list decreased, and I feel that the ones left are those who know each other personally. So when the meditation is shared, and each person comments on their response to the practice, I feel left out and jealous, as if not recognized.

Yet, I give myself recognition that approval from strangers is not needed and continue to encourage myself to write from my heart, share my part, and the outcome belongs to my higher power.

I am continually becoming aware of my place in the world. I want the simplicity of knowing that I can be me. The more I get outside of myself yet keep my identity of who I am, and I can then be authentic, allowing others to see the true me.

I have no reason to stress myself out over words or cannot articulate like another. No. I am the best example of that girl who is okay with herself. The more I know myself, the better I can handle discarding those things that I cannot control, like others.

I admit, the fear is so ingrained that it will surface, but I call it out by name and keep on trucking, one day at a time living a sober life in recovery. I need to convince no one but myself that I am okay just the way I am.

Peace and love. Feel free to share and invite others. To unsubscribe, say so. The reading is attached.

Author, Lynda M.