Memories of a broken ankle made me nervous of the snow and ice, but I walked anyway, long enough to lean against a tree to meditate, and finally, called for rescue to get back safely.

Here is a pondering thought. What is the purpose of living?

The reading reflects on rigorous honesty. I asked myself the above question when I entered the program. When I arrived in recovery, I had many defects of characters that I didn’t even realize were things that I could change. Still, after completing the steps and with a sponsor’s help, I realized that I couldn’t expect to help others when my own house was not in order.

I have always struggled to stop, think, and ask myself what if what I say is going to affect others. I have learned that think means, is it true what I have to share, honest, important, necessary, and kind.

I believe conversations are for the sole purpose to help others, not hinder and beat down the spirit of myself or others. I have to watch how I feed myself negative energy, and as a result, I can be a tohubohu to others. I heard somewhere that I could never trust my tongue until I heal. In other words, my disappointments in life can become wickedly infused on others. How do I know that to be true if I am still the individual living a life, not of my higher power’s will?

For instance, am I willing to sacrifice the wellbeing of others to satisfy my own needs? That doesn’t mean that I become a doormat, but do I think about the harm my actions might cause to others? This rigorous honesty is intentional work and is an inside job because no one other than myself, my conscience, and my higher power will know my devious deeds to take care of me and forget others. Yet, my actions might appear caring when they are for the benefit of none other than myself.  

By being truthful, I no longer have to struggle with the whys, or did I? I want to stay sober, I want to live with integrity, and in recovery, honesty is the main ingredient. Otherwise, my secrets have a way to wait and will eventually take me back out to a life not worth living.

Peace and love. Feel free to share and invite others. To unsubscribe, say so. The reading is attached.

Author, Lynda M.