The groundhog must have seen their shadow because the weather is a blistering snowy cold day, and I am so over the lockdown.

I rally for warmer weather, yet I ask myself what difference it makes if I cannot travel?

The reading speaks about a higher power and how it is in all people. My mind immediately went to what about the atheists. I also know that my experience has shown me that not all people that claim they have a higher power necessarily have my best interest. I know I am not unique, but I am cautionary about what people want to offer me.

In other words, I have to rally for myself at all costs. I cannot allow the naysayers to pull me down and make me think that I am not good enough for sobriety. Most people, including myself, don’t want to hear if we mistakenly and not intentionally spew our character defeats on to others, but it happens.

It’s those times that I think I am carrying the message that can turn out to be a mess. Yet, when taken into accountability, a deep-seated room full of alcoholics and addicts that are self-centered and not interested in the prospect of helping other alcoholics don’t even realize what type of harm we can do to others.

I share this because my feelings were hurt when I felt someone was talking down to me in the Zoom chat. Yet, I am so grateful that I restrained from overacting and then shared that I was hurt. What I know is whenever I am disturbed, I can look inside of myself and honestly question why I feel the way I do. Sometimes this is when I need a sponsor or another trusted confidant to help me with my thinking. The answers today for me are on pages 62-64 and 86-88.  

When I am dealing with trauma and get triggered, I get to rally that I am at a pivotal touchstone where I need to stay and not run—because things will change, and I don’t want to leave before the miracle happens.

Peace and love. Feel free to share and invite others. To unsubscribe, say so. The reading is attached.

Author, Lynda M.